Like most families, we had two seating areas at holiday dinners: the grownups' table and the kids' table. As a kid, I remember looking to the adult table with envy, eager for the day that I could join its ranks. When I was finally deemed mature enough to "graduate," I could barely contain my excitement.

What a fool I was. At the kids' table you could pick at your food, make funny noises, and get up whenever you wanted. We skipped the "yukky" stuff, and created games on the fly. The adult table was predictable and stuffy and as a kid it was tough to enjoy (or understand) the conversations. You were expected to pass everything in the right direction, say "please" and "thank you," make polite small talk, sample all the dishes, clean your plate, and most painful of all, linger after the meal before asking to be excused.

I flashed back to this experience when I read the June issue's content about getting a seat at the executive table. At first, I nodded my head in agreement. "Of course, meeting planners should have a seat at the table given the important work they are doing." But then I got to thinking … might this metaphor limit how planners think about their influence?

I'm not saying it shouldn't be your goal to get a seat at the executive table. Given the critical value and revenue that meetings generate, someone representing the education and meeting planning function should contribute to the organization's overall strategic direction. However, if access to the table becomes a single-minded pursuit, the game of musical chairs will always leave someone without a place to sit.

 So while you continue to pursue a seat at the "adult" table, here are some things to remember:

Having a seat at the table doesn't automatically increase your credibility and recognition.

It provides an opportunity, one that you must seize by being a thoughtful contributor at the executive level of discussion and decision-making. Are you preparing yourself? What skills might you need to acquire? Having a seat, but not doing anything meaningful with it, could be a fate worse than never getting to the table.

The table is not the only place where influence can be exercised.

Many important conversations and decisions take place in the hallway, between strategic planning sessions, and through informal interaction. Considering how decisions are made in your organization and who are the key players (what the business gurus call "social network analysis") will help you build an informal network of influence that often is as effective as being a part of the more formal power structure.

Not having a seat at the table doesn't necessarily mean your role is not sufficiently valued.

Sure, being on the executive team is one of the most powerful symbols validating who (and what functions) are important in an organization, but they aren't the only ones. Even if you don't have a permanent seat at the table, do you have a voice in important decisions? Are you consulted about organizational strategies and invited to suggest how meetings and conferences can strengthen member and stakeholder value?

 Just choose to be a person of influence.

Many a movie or play owes its success to the supporting cast's performances. Each of us has the power to act, dress, and play the part - to be more influential even if we haven't been cast in that specific role. It's one of the best ways to earn recognition, as well as your own star turn in the future.

Jeffrey Cufaude is a former higher education administrator, meeting planner, and association executive. He currently writes, speaks, and facilitates on a variety of individual and organizational leadership issues. Learn more about his work at www.ideaarchitects.org.

 To submit topic ideas and feedback on the Leading Learning column, e-mail jeffrey@ideaarchitects.org. Convene's Leading Learning series is sponsored by AVW TELAV. Visit its Web site at www.avwtelav.com.