Wear a Different Hat
What is your dream job? Horse trainer? Brew master? Innkeeper? Hotel manager? TV producer? The truth is, many of us are still trying to figure out what we want to be when we grow up. We may have great jobs that pay the bills, but they don't fulfill us or bring meaning to our lives. Few people have the guts or the opportunity to chuck it all in to try their hand at a completely new career. But imagine having the opportunity to explore that "road not taken."

Brian Kurth wants to give people the opportunity to take their first steps on that road. In 2001, he was stuck in a position that he had worked years to attain and yet found unfulfilling. As part of his daily commute, he sat in two to three hours of traffic. Then, he was laid off in the dot.com meltdown, which ended up being one of the best things that ever happened to him.

He took advantage of the time off to tour the country for six months, his mental wheels turning. A few years later VocationVacations was born. The concept is designed for people who want to try out their dream job without risking their regular one. These are not fantasy getaways. Vocationers get down and dirty. For instance, a Fort Worth writer spent time with a horse trainer. Her experience included everything from hands-on horse time to mucking out stalls.

Those who romanticize an innkeeper's life are often shocked to see how much menial labor it requires. There are breakfasts to prepare, bathrooms to clean, beds to make.

The fact that Americans are growing increasingly unhappy with their jobs has helped the company. According to the Conference Board, job satisfaction has declined for two decades, with little to suggest a significant reversal in attitudes will happen anytime soon. Today, less than half of all Americans say they are satisfied with their jobs, down from 61 percent twenty years ago.*

More Than a Hundred Careers to Choose From
The company places vacationers in 135 careers of their choosing, and provides almost 300 expert mentors. Packages range from $549 for a one-day brew master or cheese maker VocationVacation to two days with a Broadway producer for $2,999. Participants have the opportunity to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), an online personality assessment designed to identify interests and skill sets.

For more information, call (866) 888-6329 or go to www.vocationvacations.com.

*This study, released in February, was conducted by TNS, a market information company.

Rising Among the Ruins
As military and political strategy in Iraq is debated, a new convention center-Martyr Saad's Palace for Conferences and Meetings- has opened in Erbil, the ancient capital of the country's northern Kurdish region. The building is the centerpiece of a massive urban development project that will include Kempinski, Hyatt, Rotana, and Empire luxury hotels as well as a new shopping mall. While the world's attention remains riveted on the brutal battle between Shiites and Sunnis, Kurdistan is thriving. According to a spokesman for the regional government's minister of foreign relations, they are focusing on construction and building rather than destruction and revenge. The Kurdistan area of Iraq, where Erbil is located, has gained an international reputation of being a gateway to Iraqi business, a stable and thriving area with an increasingly prosperous population of five million. The region has two new international airports and a liberal investment law that attracts foreign investors. (First seen in meetpete.org)

Is Life a Vacation for Cancun Residents?
Mexico's most popular destination, Cancun, is situated on the northeastern tip of Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula. The destination is renowned for its 16-mile stretch of white sandy beaches, world-class hotels, exceptional recreation activities, and proximity to historic Mayan archeological sites. Visitors to Cancun can enjoy the Mesoamerican Reef, the second largest coral reef in the world, and action-packed participatory sports.

What many don't realize is that while Cancun is a vacationer's and meeting attendee's paradise, it's also where many call home. Fernando Cervantes, groups and conventions director for the Cancun Convention and Visitors Bureau, says visitors are often curious about what it's like to live here. Frequently, when he is accompanying planners on site inspection tours, and they are driving along the hotel zone, he is asked, "Where are the houses?"

Outside of the tourist zones, Cancun has many vibrant neighborhoods, he says. The communities you find here are close-knit. Sure, there are some laid-back beach towns in Mexico, but Cancun is definitely not one of them. "People here work long hours but when we are off, we take advantage of all our wonderful home has to offer," explained Cervantes. "Many will go the beach, or take a boat to Isla Mujeres (Isle of Women) where they will just anchor and enjoy the clear waters of the Caribbean." Isla Mujeres, eight miles across the Bahia de Mujeres (Bay of Women) from Cancun, is only five miles long and a half-mile wide with a downtown area of just four by six blocks.

Isla Mujeres is a charming, tranquil fishing village. As you stroll the streets in the evening you will see families gathered together in Caribbean styled homes, tucked between stores and restaurants, mending their fishing nets and relaxing.

"Weekend nights, we enjoy a nice dinner at one of the downtown restaurants or we'll go to a local bar and spend time with friends. Very rarely do we go to the hotel zone," Cervantes said. "Sundays are for relaxing. We may have a poolside barbecue, watch soccer, or go to the stadium to see our brand new team Los Potros del Atlante. Cancun really does has a regular community that lies just outside the glamour of the tourist attractions."

Taming the Abrasive Boss in Seven Steps
It only hurts when I work" aptly describes the pain experienced by those who work under, over, or with an abrasive manager. Abrasive bosses rub people the wrong way, alienating coworkers (and often clients) with their aggressive behaviors. They can be overly controlling, condescending, critical, or threatening, overreacting to the slightest suggestion of incompetence in others.

In your work as meeting professionals, chances are you've encountered abrasive clients or directors/CEOs who have attempted to "boss" you around, riding roughshod over your efforts to provide superior service. Much like the horse whisperer who calms unmanageable horses, as an executive coach I work to calm the fears that drive unmanageable managers to trample on others' emotions. Taming bosses - like horses - requires an understanding of what drives their behavior.

Contrary to how you may be feeling, the vast majority of abrasive bosses aren't evil or crazy. They don't wake up each morning plotting how to torment you. In fact, they're unconsciously afraid of being perceived as incompetent and will defend against any and all threats to their ability to succeed. In other words, you'll pay if you get in their way.

It's also important to understand that they are generally blind to the degree of pain they inflict: They lack the social sonar to detect their negative impact on others. In fact, they often view their aggression as an effective management tool: "You really have to ride people to get the job done." Where did they learn this management style? More often than not, from earlier harsh family, school, or work environments (including the military). To them, abrasive behavior is normal and acceptable.

Here are seven recommendations for taming an abrasive boss:
1) Don't take their disrespectful behavior personally. It has nothing to do with you; it stems from their continual fear of being perceived as incompetent.
2) Never, ever, sink to their level of interaction and engage in anything less than professional conduct, which I define as "treating others with respect whether or not you respect them."
3) Since they're blind to their behavior, your first step is to make them see what they do: "John, in the morning meeting you raised your voice and called my idea stupid."
4) Next step: Make them care enough to want to change it. This requires three steps:
A) Set the limit: "I don't like to be called names or yelled at. That behavior just doesn't work with me."
B) Address their fears: "You need to know that I am totally committed to making this project a success." C) Tell them how to interact with you: "If you have a problem, just let me know right away and I'll do my best to solve it."
5) If the abrasive person is your boss, and confronting him/her directly doesn't work, your next option is to take your concerns to a higher level. But don't go in and angrily trash your boss. You'll only end up looking like just another disgruntled employee. Speak calmly, list a few of your boss's strengths (there must be some), and then voice your concerns: "Lisa is an intelligent, committed individual, but when she gets frustrated, she calls us 'idiots.' Some people are thinking of quitting."
6) If you manage an abrasive boss, understand that the situation is not hopeless. They can change once they're made to see, and setting disciplinary consequences for their behavior is often what it takes to make them care enough to change.
7) Get them help. Consider referring them to a skilled executive coach who can help them develop positive management strategies, or provide intensive in-house mentoring.

° Laura Crawshaw, Ph.D., is the author of Taming the Abrasive Manager: How to End Unnecessary Roughness in the Workplace. She founded the Executive Insight Development Group, an executive coaching firm specializing in abrasive leaders and dysfunctional teams. Dr. Crawhaw is a member of the International Society for the Psychoanalytic Study of Organizations, the American Psychological Association, and the International Coach Federation. Visit www.bosswhispering.com.

Life Happens in the Front Row
Workplace expert and speaker Joel Zeff doesn't like folks to take a backseat in life, sitting in the last row and hoping they'll go unnoticed. Zeff encourages audiences to take risks, and laugh at themselves by acting silly in front of their colleagues, all the while supporting each other without judgment. Here is an excerpt from "Life Happens in the Front Row," a chapter in his recently published book, Make the Right Choice.

One of my favorite activities at an event is watching people walk into the meeting room. You can tell quite a bit about people by where they choose to sit in a room. The back row people immediately stake out their territory. The front row people move quickly and efficiently. The middle row people sit in one seat, look around, and then move to another seat.

When I have a small group, I like to arrange the chairs in a horseshoe shape with no tables. There is nowhere to hide. The attendees walk into the room, immediately stop, dart their eyes around the room, and say something like, "Uh-oh, I think we are in trouble now." I hear nervous laughter. They really don't know what to do. Their plans of sitting in the back of the room, doodling on the free hotel stationery, and checking e-mail on their BlackBerry are dashed.

Where Do You Sit?
Where people sit in the audience is relative to their risk tolerance. Maybe "risk" is the wrong word. Risk taking is about trying something new. It is about creating change to become happier, more productive, or more effective. Risk is a necessary part of business. Without risk, we stagnate. We become complacent, slow, and old. We lose our ability to learn, grow, and develop.

The week I am writing this chapter I have seen three partners in an accounting firm come on stage and dance like ballerinas. Wait, it gets better. How about a top-level executive at a software company imitating a giraffe on stage? Have you ever seen a doctor jump around like a kangaroo? Seriously, it really doesn't get any better than this. That's my job. And it happens every week. I remember an older vice president of an energy company, wearing a very conservative suit, who had to imitate a fish during an exercise. He flopped around the stage, swam through the audience, and flapped his arms like flippers. He was a fish, and a damn good one.

There are four basic actions I take to create an environment for my audience to feel comfortable enough to take risks. They take no budget and very little time, but they pay huge dividends.
1. Make the employees feel comfortable.
2. Create a positive environment.
3. Support your teammates as they take risks.
 4. Refrain from judging.

The first thing I do when I speak to an audience is make everyone put their thumbs to their temples, flap their hands, and say, "bunny, bunny, bunny." I took this from an old improvisation warm-up game. Everyone in the audience laughs, even the grumpy people. It is pretty hard to stay grumpy and bitter when someone has their thumbs stuck to their temples and keeps saying, "bunny, bunny, bunny."

° Joel Zeff (www.joelzeff.com)
is a workplace expert, speaker, and
humorist. For more information on
his book, published by John Wiley &
Sons, visit www.maketheright
choicethebook.com.

Joel Zeff and Joel Zeff Creative
retain the ownership and rights
to this article.