At first it was fun, skimming across the water and bouncing up and down. I had never been tubing before and was enjoying this new experience with my friends. As the boat picked up speed, however, I found myself being sucked into the center of the tube, causing a sharp pain in my back. I pushed up with my arms, but the suction was so strong, I was unable to free myself. I started yelling to my friends in the boat to stop, but I soon realized that no one could hear me. My next thought was to wave to get their attention. They thought I was motioning them to go faster!

Despite being freed, I could barely breathe, so my friends rushed me to the local ER. The doctor was amazed I had not drowned as my lungs were more than two-thirds filled with water. Why, he asked, had I not let go sooner?

It's a question we should ask ourselves in our work. Why don't we let go more quickly and accept that technology is changing the way we do business, the commodization of planning meetings, the shorter lead times on RFPs or the expanded territory and responsibilities we have because of mergers and acquisitions? Why do we stay stuck by focusing on the problem rather than solutions? Why do we react by fixing the symptoms, not the cause? Why? Because we are human, which means we think and feel. Change is scary and involves hard work. We need to reorient ourselves psychologically for change to work.

In reality, the change itself is not the obstacle. It's only an event or experience that marks a beginning. Learning to let go and move from the old to the new - physically, mentally, and emotionally - is the real challenge.

Change Versus Transition
Change has two sides: the "hard" side - process, strategy, measurement, and procedures and the "soft" side - attitude, acceptance, commitment, creativity, and understanding.

Change is not the same as transition. Change is situational: a hurricane threatens your meeting; you institute online meeting registration; there is new leadership; you must learn a new technology. Transition is the psychological process we go through to come to terms with the new situation. Change is external, intellectual. Transition is internal, emotional. There can be any number of changes, but unless we let go and allow transitions to occur, nothing will be different when the dust clears.

The starting point for managing transition is not describing the outcomes you want, but recognizing and accepting the endings you will have to make. Situational change hinges on the newly appointed CEO, just installed software, or using text messaging on your new cell phone. Psychological transition depends on letting go of the old habits and identity you had before the change took place.

Transition starts with an ending of the way things used to be. Think about a significant change you have made in your own life: your first managerial position, moving to a new job or city, starting your own business. Good changes, yet each one started with an ending. Once you understand that transition begins with letting go of something, you have taken the first step in the process of transition management.

Letting Go
Most of us do not like endings because they are painful and disorienting. The majority of us resist doing things differently. In order to move on, you need to deal directly with the feelings you are experiencing over the ending. How do you do that?

•  Initially focus on what you have to give up, not the benefits. It is important to legitimize what you feel you are losing.
• Take time to reflect on how you are feeling. Allow yourself to be angry or feel sad and grieve over what has been lost. Do not mistake these feelings for a bad attitude.
• Give yourself permission to appropriately express what you are sensing. Sometimes we are reluctant to talk openly about our feelings, believing they do not belong in the work place. But pretending feelings do not exist, or ignoring them, only creates problems.
• Realize each person accepts changes at a different rate. Don't expect or push yourself to be like everyone else.
• Many times we feel we have been robbed of control over our future, especially if the change was involuntary. Find a way to gain back a feeling of control. If the feeling of competence has been taken away, give yourself a new sense of competence by training for the necessary skill(s).
• Take a piece of the old way with you. Endings occur more easily if you can take a bit of the past with you.
• Reward the progress you make.

Moving Through the Desert
"I have always argued that change becomes stressful and overwhelming only when you've lost a sense of the constancy of your life. You need firm ground to stand on. From there, you can deal with change." - Richard Bolles in Fast Company

Welcome to the middle phase of the transition process - what William Bridges calls the Neutral Zone. The somewhere between two nowheres. It is the limbo between the old sense of identity and the new, when the old way is gone and the new does not yet feel comfortable. This is also a very creative time as it is here we come up with breakthrough answers and innovation.

Focus on "normalizing" the neutral zone. One of the most difficult aspects of this time is that we do not understand it. We expect to be able to move in a straight line from the old to the new. But it is not a short, easy trip. Nor is it linear. It is a journey from one identity to another, and this takes time.

The neutral zone is like the wilderness through which Moses led his people. That took 40 years, not because Moses did not know where he was going, but because it was necessary for the generations that had known Egypt to die before the Israelites could enter the Promised Land. Moses made the change when he led his people out of Egypt, but it was the 40 years in the neutral zone that got Egypt out of his people.

Fortunately, the changes we deal with on the job will not take 40 years, but it will take time to go through this phase. This is a time when a necessary reorientation and redefinition is taking place. Do not ignore or rush through it. You need to recognize that it is natural to feel somewhat frightened and confused in this no-man's land. As old patterns die in your mind and new ones begin to take shape, you are often assailed with self-doubt and misgivings. Take time to refocus on your desired outcome to keep you moving forward.

Embracing the New
"You begin by always expecting good things to happen." - Tom Hopkins

Beginnings involve new understandings, new values, new attitudes and, most of all, new identities. Beginnings are the final phase in the transition process. Beginnings feel frightening. They establish once and for all that the endings were real. Once you are willing to move forward and accept the change, you can embark on the beginnings.

One way to become more open to change is to gain new perspectives. Read magazines, watch TV programs, or go to movies you ordinarily would not select. Strike up conversations with people you don't know well. Try new foods, learn a new hobby, or visit some place you have never been.

Dealing with change and transition is demanding, but it needn't get the better of you.

• Keep your body, mind, and spirit in peak condition. Pay attention to your body, your feelings, and your thoughts. They are important messengers.
• Instead of getting upset about what you cannot control, choose to invest your time and energy on developing solutions to the new challenges change inevitably brings.
• Get busy instead of getting mad. Action is great therapy. It lowers your stress level better than resistance does.
• Put some fire in your work habits and burn off your anger and worry. Focus on possibilities, not problems.
• Reach out for support.
• Practice an attitude of gratitude for the many good things in life.
• Focus on your vision of the future rather than what is at the present time.

As John F. Kennedy said: "Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." It is your choice as to what happens to you and your organization. Are you brave enough to let go and release your fears in order to breathe new energy into yourself and your organization? The choice is yours. So is the responsibility.

° Nancy Riesz, MBA, is a performance improvement expert who teaches people to work together … better. Through her presentations, seminars, coaching, and writing she works with organizations and their leaders to create places where people want to work, bosses they are thrilled to work for, doing what they do best. She can be reached at Nancy@SuccessCatalyst.com or visit her Web site at www.SuccessCatalyst.com.

For Further Exploration
William Bridges is an internationally recognized authority on managing change in the workplace. For more than two decades, he has been helping clients with mergers, reorganizations, leadership changes, and cultural shifts. He is a frequent keynote speaker at corporate meetings and professional conferences, and The Wall Street Journal named him one of the 10 top executive development presenters in America.

Bridges is the author of 10 books, including the best sellers Transitions and Managing Transitions.

Here are two additional books by other authors on accepting change: Leading Change, by John P. Kotter The Five Stages of the Soul: Charting the Spiritual Passages That Shape our Lives, by Harry R. Moody, David Carroll