No one would disagree that the concept of giving back to the community is extremely important. Unfortunately, what passes for "giving back" is often watered down in the form of token charitable efforts or donations. j Not so in the world of 52-year-old Consuelo Castillo Kickbusch. She grew up in a tiny barrio in Laredo, Texas, known as the "Devil's Den," owning only one pair of shoes saved exclusively for school days. Hard by the Mexican border, the area was the poorest in the country, rife with drug smugglers and junkies shooting heroin on the streets in plain sight, said Kickbusch. Her parents were immigrants without a formal education. Her dad did not even finish grammar school.

Strong values embedded in her as a child combined with a ferocious work ethic and resolute spirit, resulted in her meteoric rise through the ranks of the Army. Things were good. Real good. She owned her own condo in San Jose, where she attended a local university, studying cybernetics. She had her own car, one with four wheels that didn't need to be pushed, she said with a laugh. And clothes in the closet with tags on them … not hand-me-downs.

Not to mention the medals, trophies, and commendations for her achievements in the armed services that adorned her walls and shelves. She earned the Legion of Merit, the National Defense Service Medal, four Meritorious Service Medals, two Army Achievement Medals, and the National Image's Uniformed Services Award for significant contributions in the areas of civil/human rights, race relations, equal opportunity, human resources, and public service. She was a Lieutenant Colonel, the highest-ranking Latina in the Combat Support Field of the U.S. Army.

"I thought I had arrived," she said.

All of this fame and fortune was put in perspective one day when her elderly mother showed up at her doorstep unexpectedly. When Kickbusch thinks back to that day, she realizes her mom knew she was dying. She asked her to take a walk with her.

When they got outside her mom instructed her to take her shoes off. She hesitated. "Those days, I had middle-class soles," she said with a hearty laugh. But her mom insisted. She fulfilled her wish and soon had to steady herself by holding onto her mother's arm. "I guess you still need me," her mother said firmly. "I understand you're now a leader who gives orders. I also understand you're now an officer who tells men what to do and they do it. But what have you done for others because you wanted to do for them and not because it was part of your job?" her mother asked. "Have you forgotten who you are?"

Kickbusch said, "She was telling me to put my feet on the ground. To keep it real. 'Pon los piez por la tierra,' as she said."

The eighth child of 10, Kickbusch was shocked to learn that day that her mom worried about her the most. "'But I'm the best in the litter,' I told my mom jokingly. And she said, 'It is because you know better that I would have expected you to do more for others. It's your obligation to the next generation. I hoped you would get a two-way ticket out but you got a one-way ticket.'"

Live a Legacy
Her mother's words resonated with her for months. When this 20-year military veteran was offered yet another promotion - this one paving the road for her to next become a general - she flabbergasted many by retiring. "It was time for me to live a legacy," she said. And time to fulfill her mom's last wish for her.

She focused on becoming a community leader, helping needy kids. She founded Educational Achievement Services (EAS) with its focus on empowering people of all ages in all environments and The Family Leadership Institute, dedicated to helping immigrant and impoverished families participate in their children's education (for more information, visit www.latinaspeaker.com).

Kickbusch has touched scores of young people, many living under similar circumstances as she did as a child. To date, she has worked with more than one million children, their parents and educators, often in the roughest neighborhoods in America.

She inspires these young "diamonds in the rough" by encouraging them to believe that they can all make their dreams come true - to not give up hope, but rather to take charge of their lives and make a real difference in their families and communities by following a disciplined road map to success. Her book, Journey to the Future: A Roadmap for Success for Youth, provides practical techniques for children to develop higher self-esteem, achieve their personal goals, as well as provide them with a framework for early leadership development.

She had her own "champion" growing up: Mr. Cooper, a community college recruiter. "I wasn't put in a college-bound track and I didn't know how to advocate for myself. For instance, my math class didn't focus on algebra, it taught us how to use a cash register. But Mr. Cooper saw something in me. He told me I was brilliant. He introduced me to a library. I became passionate about learning," she explained. With Cooper's help, she enrolled in Laredo Junior College where she flourished. Cooper encouraged her to continue her education at a four-year college and she did. She attended Hardin-Simmons University in West Texas. There were times when the adjustment to college life was extremely difficult.

"This was the first time I left my very close-knit family. I didn't eat much in public because I lacked social skills. I didn't know how to handle all the forks and all the knives. There were times I went hungry because I felt so out of place. Plus, this was the first time I truly felt like a minority." She didn't let this stop her. She tapped into the perseverance she was taught as a child.

She also joined the ROTC, which she thought was a social club. The rest is history. She became the first woman to become commissioned in the ROTC on Aug. 13, 1976, her birthday. Her roommate called her to the window to see all the news crews that had gathered outside on the heels of this news. "What I was most proud of was that I had worked hard to honor my family, my parents, and the immigrant experience." After training in Fort Gordon, Ga., Kickbusch was stationed in Fort Hood, Texas, where she was a platoon leader responsible for 68 men. "Having a woman platoon leader was a new world for the Army as well as for me," she said.

Hard work. Now that was something familiar to Kickbusch. "I already knew tough conditions and how to get things done. We got up early at my house to do chores before we started the three-mile walk to school. Long days were nothing new to me. I had worked all my life," she said. "I remember running one morning and being asked by a sergeant, 'When are you going to quit?' Months later, he asked me again, 'Why are you still in my Army?' He didn't realize that life here was easy. At least they gave me shoes to run in. Growing up, we ran barefoot."

Kickbusch's 20 years in the Army were invaluable. She grew into a strong and confident leader. "The Army is one of the most diverse institutions in America. The Armed Forces in general has made a lot of kids feel equal, important, and that they have potential. Personally, I was able to rise through the ranks quickly as a woman and a person of color. I don't know if that would have been possible in corporate America. It seems there are barriers built into that framework that make it difficult."

Her appreciation for this country is at the core of her being. Her father had a great love for America, which wasn't diminished by the fact that he never obtained his long-desired American citizenship. Because he couldn't read or write, he couldn't pass the test. He instilled in his children the importance of giving back to this country. Eight of his 10 children have served in the U.S. military.

Her career has taken an unexpected twist. Many CEOs and company heads have come to find out about Kickbusch and have asked her to share her story of tenacity with their employees. One thing led to another and her speaking career took on a life of its own. She uses the income from these speaking engagements to fund a lot of her other work. "I go to many impoverished communities that can't afford the program, but I go anyway." Plus, she donates 40 percent of her salary to various causes anonymously. "That's what grounds me," she said.

Mother of Five
Sure, there are medals and trophies, but without hesitation, she says her greatest accomplishments are her five daughters. Her schedule includes a great deal of travel and as a result, her husband David Allen Kickbusch, retired from the military to be a stay-at-home dad. There are the 11-year-old twins, Delilah and Dolores; 28-year-old Kenitha who is married, has her graduate degree, and owns a bridal accessories business; and 19-year-old Consuelo who is at the University of Texas in San Antonio.

Then there is 23-year-old Alicia who has returned to Westchester University in Pennsylvania after hitting what Kickbusch calls a "speed bump." The family recently hunkered down to help her after she came home from college pregnant. Alicia made the heart-wrenching decision to put her baby up for adoption.

During this tumultuous time, Kickbusch e-mailed all those she knows asking for prayers for her daughter and unborn grandchild. Cynthia Rocha, who works for Kickbusch as the vice president of leadership development for Educational Achievement Services and national director of The Family Leadership Institute, read the e-mail in amazement. After 10 years of exhausting every possible avenue to conceive a baby, she had given up. In an amazing twist of fate, Rocha and her husband adopted the baby boy they named Antonio, and Kickbusch now has the good fortune of seeing him on a regular basis. Back in school, Alicia hopes one day to become a teacher. "I have been blessed to know what it is to be a mother," Kickbusch said. "The totality of it. The joy. The pain. When my daughter hit her speed bump, I loved her just as much as always." As tough as it is to share this story, she does it to help others. "I have to be authentic and transparent," she said.

The family lives in a modest home in the Chinatown section of Las Vegas. The girls go to the public school where she started her first parent program. "I want them to have their feet on the ground," she said, echoing those words her own mother shared with her. Working with children in all walks of life has helped her grow as a parent. "I've learned so much from the kids I work with - from the gang bangers, the 19-year-old who was pregnant with her third child trying to get her GED, from the anorexic living in a wealthy neighborhood who was expected to be a size zero. I've seen these slices of life and they have impacted my journey," she explained.

When she talks about giving back, it is not just in monetary terms. "Giving back can be as easy as a smile or offering your seat to someone else," she said. Kickbusch recently created a lasting memory for a hotel bellman. "I checked into a hotel in Laguna Beach, Calif., where I was giving a speech the next day and the bellman showed me to the presidential suite. I hadn't had dinner and I asked him to join me. We sat at the table in the suite enjoying a lovely dinner and he started crying. He had worked in the hotel for years and years, but had never been in that suite before except to drop off someone's bags."

She has crossed paths with all different kinds of leaders, some impressive, others not, and has identified the skills she feels leaders need to possess in order to be successful. No. 1 on her list is the ability to listen. Unfortunately, many of today's leaders find this difficult because they are too busy barking out orders to listen to those around them, she explained. Secondly, it is important to keep it real, she said. "Too often, the leaders I meet possess a toxic combination that includes being condescending, belittling, being a diva. These are not healthy habits for a leader," she explained. "If you want people to follow you, they must be inspired by you. It is important to celebrate the accomplishments of those around you. Remember, you're only as strong as the weakest person on your team."

She equates her role to that of a gardener. "I am planting the seeds of tomorrow's leadership in our children today. Positive nourishment like mentoring, quality education, self-esteem, discipline, and values is what feeds those seeds. Only then will we be able to harvest a great next generation." Her other focus is on developing "servant leadership" where passion, vision, and goals are centered around becoming legacy builders rather than empire builders. Servant leaders have their feet on the ground.

Editor's Note: Consuelo Castillo-Kickbusch will speak on April 16 during PCMA's 2007 Leadership Conference at Disney's Coronado Springs Resort in Orlando. Her appearance is arranged by Keppler Speakers (www.kepplerspeakers.com).

Andrea Doyle is Convene's senior writer. The Leading by Example series is sponsored by the Canadian Tourism Commission. Visit its Web site at www.CanadaMeetings.com.